We need to see beyond the gender column and personal lives of moms: Mansi Zaveri

We, at Adgully, have always saluted and honoured women managers and leaders across diverse fields. Over the years, W-SUITE is a special initiative from Adgully that has been turning the spotlight on some of the most remarkable women achievers in the M&E, Advertising, Marketing, PR and Communications industry.

On the occasion of Mother’s Day this year, Adgully has come up with a month-long special series saluting the Moms of the A&M industry. The series explores how successful women leaders, who are also mothers, are achieving work-life balance, and are also creating an inclusive work environment so that the mothers in their teams can work to their full potential.

In conversation with Adgully, Mansi Zaveri, CEO & Founder, Kidsstoppress.com, speaks about why she doesn’t believe in the concept of work-life balance, removing gender bias at work, building a work culture that respects the person for the value addition, and much more.

As a woman leader, how do you manage to maintain a work-life balance as a working mom? What tips would you give to other working mothers who are struggling to manage their work and personal life?

I have said this earlier and in my conversations with fellow moms – I don’t believe in the concept of work-life balance. It is never going to be a perfect 50-50 that you can achieve on an everyday basis. It is going to be like a see-saw that tilts on one side one time and then the other side later. It is how you handle the tilts – that to me is what we, as working moms need to focus on. To be able to give our 100% in whatever role we play. To be present in the moment. That, to me, is more important that striving for a perfect “work-life balance”.

Regarding managing both fronts, I have always believed that our children need to see what we do at our work front. Even from a young age. They need to understand that “mommy likes this” and “this makes mommy happy”. Right from a young age ensure you project your work not as something that takes away your time from the children, but something that adds value to you as a person and makes you happier and content. Also, as much as possible, try answering their calls always. Also, as they grow up, make sure you discuss your job, its nature and your schedule with your kids. Share your struggles and vulnerabilities with your children, so they appreciate it and your efforts better. Also, remember to set boundaries early on. So, your children understand if you are wearing your mommy hat or your work hat or doing something else that makes you happy. Once they respect it early enough, they start following it too.

How do you deal with “mommy guilt” while working and how do you balance your personal and professional life while being a mother? Could you share some personal experiences?

Mom-guilt is one thing we must absolutely reject, right at the beginning. Over the years, with experience I have understood why mom-guilt is overrated. I often tell people that along with Kidsstoppress, I have 3 children! Everyday a different child is going to need us more and spend more time with us. We can’t predict that, but what we can do is to live in the moment, give them our 100% and sort the things as they come by!

I used to worry too much if I could have it all – work, business, my children, etc. But one bed time conversation with my daughters changed the perception of mom-guilt for me. “What do you want to be when you grow up I asked”, and the little one instantly said, “I want to be the CEO of Kidsstoppress.com!” How my girls look up to me through my work helped me get over my mom-guilt!

Could you share your experience of returning to work after maternity leave? What challenges did you face and how did you overcome them? What changes would you like to see in the workplace to support working mothers?

I was working in a full-time marketing job before and after my first daughter Aanya was born. Motherhood might have changed my work timings, but definitely not my efficiency or dedication. When I would wrap work at 4.30 pm and set off to spend the evening with my li'l one waiting for me at home, I could sense those surprised eyes looking at me like I shirked my work. I don’t blame them much. They didn’t see me when I walked in at 8.30 am to an empty office or I wasn’t justifying myself to them in their coffee/ smoke breaks. Plus, as a society, we are conditioned to judge those around us. I felt those eyes judging me each day and that played on my mind, I must confess. After a lot of questions and doubts and hesitation, I quit my 9-to-5 cushion job to start Kidsstoppress. To start something of my own – this isn’t in any way an easier route or an alternative. The earlier job at least had work timings! Here, I remember replying to client emails at 11 pm and writing blogs at 5 am when my second daughter would doze off as a newborn. But I liked this. I chose this and I wanted this.

With more brands and workplaces being more understanding today, I am sure the situation has improved vastly from before, but we are still far away from the finishing line. We need to build a work culture that respects the person for the value addition they do for the company rather than judging their abilities as a mother/ father etc. A recent CNBC survey stated that around 3 in 10 women (28%) say the biggest source of work-related stress stems from being overwhelmed at their job. Now, if that is not an eye-opener for companies and leadership to recruit and retain more deserving moms who want to step out and change the world, what is?

How has being a mother impacted your leadership style and decision-making as a woman leader? Have you noticed any positive changes in your leadership skills since becoming a mother?

I would definitely say there is so much we learn and imbibe from our everyday parenting journey at whatever we do. As a parent, you have spot-on negotiating skills (if you have tried feeding your toddler broccoli, you know what I mean!). You evolve to become a more empathetic person and experts around the world have now agreed that it’s one of the most sought after skill in a leader. You become a quick decision maker, thanks to your experience as a mom. You know how to manoeuver your decisions resulting in a win-win. Be it negotiating with your clients or improving your problem-solving skills or coming up with the most unique solutions to everyday problems – trust a parent to deliver!

This respect for people, empathy, and the ability to analyze a problem instead of throwing our hands up in the air – these are just a few of the skills I attribute to learning from parenthood. As a parent, I also see that we are better at creating systems and processes that are easy to follow for others – true qualities in a leader.

What steps has your company taken to support and empower working mothers, and how do you ensure that mothers are not discriminated against in the workplace?

I wanted to build a company where women are respected for what they bring to the table and not for the hours they clock in. For how they help build the brand and not how late they wrap up work. At Kidsstoppress, over the decade, I have built a team that doesn’t hesitate to take time off for doctor visits, sports days, PTMs, taking our pets to the vet, or our parents for a check-up. We have had teammates rejoin a meeting because they had to pacify the crying infant first. We have rescheduled calls because the child came back home crying and needed to be attended to.

For the team at Kidsstoppress, work-from-home existed even before COVID, and their efficiencies were never questioned! That is the culture I hoped I had a decade ago. That is the culture I am proud of building a decade later. We can take that empathetic first step as leaders, to create a ripple effect for those coming after us.

How can other companies follow suit to create a more inclusive workplace for working mothers? What are the best global practices you have come across in this regard?

I know a lot of brands and companies today that offer flexible maternity leaves for moms and have made the whole “getting-back-to-work” thing easier for moms. I know of a lot of companies today that do not question the mother for a gap on her resume that shows she prioritized her family over her career. And that should be a move across the board.

Like my mom always said, there is no gender-bias for your work and your dreams! I strongly feel as a leader and as a working mom, that we need to see beyond the gender column and the personal lives of moms, to see what they bring to the table, how they can be worthy to your organization and how we can be supportive to each other as a fraternity.